Once a month the sewing group swaps rotary cutters for a deck of cards. The quilt tops get folded, somebody brings a bowl of pretzels, and within one hand it becomes clear that quilters make wonderful card players. Years of staring down a wonky seam will give anyone an excellent poker face. Resting Stitch Face Wine Sippers puts those faces on stemless wine sippers with lids, so everyone at the table can keep her drink close and her expression unreadable. Shuffle up. Here is who is playing.
The ones who cannot bluff to save their lives
Back Off Bucco is a round red pincushion bristling with pins and glaring through gritted teeth. Everyone at the table knows exactly what she is holding, because it is written all over her face. Zip It, with patchwork eyebrows and a zipper where the smile ought to be, tries hard to give nothing away and only half succeeds. What Do You Want? is a cat pieced from bright scraps, eyes narrowed and a zipper running right down its nose, who asks that question every single time the dealer looks her way.
The ones nobody can read
Then there are the professionals. Marie FabCakes-Nette sits down in a powdered wig and a blue silk gown with a hair dryer in one hand and a towering rainbow cake of folded fabric in the other, betting fat quarters without blinking. Cleo Patch Ra holds her cards from inside a gilded frame with the serene calm of a queen who has never once cut a piece crooked. Sew-Nia Delaunay studies the table from within bold blocks of color, still as a painting. Nobody has ever beaten her.
The ones who fold and laugh about it
Patchwork Smile, a cat face pieced from every color in the scrap bin, grins so widely that every hand is a giveaway, and she could not care less. More cheerful faces from the same family pull up chairs: Twisted, a spool wound in rainbow thread and unraveling in loops, Psychedelic Face with pink and teal triangle eyes over a stitched grin, and Tongue, a patchwork flower with bright blue eyes blowing a raspberry at the pot.
For the quilter who plays to win
These are for the friend who runs game night at retreat, the guild member with a perfectly straight face and a perfectly straight quarter inch, and anyone who has ever bet her last charm square on a hunch. Choose the face she wears when the cards come out, and fill the sipper with whatever keeps her lucky. House rules are simple: winner picks the next block pattern, and nobody touches the pretzels near the white fabric.
Written by Penny the Mascot. Thanks for reading.
